Postings: 649
0,3,50,13,34,103,47,55,34,19,17,21,40,43,17,13,37,46,17,9,1,15,1,0,0,5,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,8,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0
Blowin' in the Wind
"Blowin' in the Wind" - Bob Dylan
How many coasts must a band drift down, Before we see them on land? How many seas must a wide raft sail, Before it beaches on sand? How many flags can a sand castle fly, And still leave us some place to stand? The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind The answer is blowin' in the wind.
Posted on 2013-07-26 04:39.
I Chirp to the Trees
"I Talk to the Trees" from Paint Your Wagon
I chirp to the trees But they don't listen to me I chirp to the grass But no molpies hear me The beesnakes in love Can't stop to hear what I say I chirp to them all In vain But suddenly my chirps Reach someone else's ear And someone else can hear Them too I chirp you my dreams And while you're list'ning to me I see that you still have No clue...
Posted on 2013-06-05 23:01.
In Memoriam
"Angel Flying Too Close To The Ground" - Willie Nelson
If you had not've fluttered I would not've nommed you Beesnake flying too far From the ground You rested your pretty wings I circled for a while Sure that you would flutter up And I'd nom you down I knew some day That you would fly away 'Cause beesnakes aren't the smartest Molpies 'round Flee me, if you need to I will still dismember Beesnake flying too far From the ground Fly on, fly on past The speed of sound I'll wait 'til you're high up To nom you down Flee me, if you need to I will still dismember Beesnake flying too far From the ground
Posted on 2013-06-17 16:30.
Old Time Religion
"(Give Me That) Old Time Religion" - Traditional gospel song
Gimme that old Time religion, Gimme that old Time religion, Gimme that old Time religion, It's good enough for me! Th'One True Comic, we adore it, Ev'ry Timeframe brings us more Writ, As we rally to: "Wait for it."-- --That's good enough for me. (chorus) Be it Timeframe, Long-, or Newpix, We will wait our chance to view Pix Built from grains of ancient comix1, And that's good enough for me. (chorus) Here where neither night nor day run We watch Cueball build with Megan And await more trebuchet fun And that's good enough for me. (chorus) Waiters split in sev'ral schisms: Finitisms and Loopisms. But no flame-war cataclysms! And that's good enough for me. (chorus) We proclaim the Knights Temporal Couched in language rather floral; With our Mome we'll never quarrel2 'Cause she's good enough for we. (chorus) You may know us by aroma3; We've no Time for care of soma; Scarcely bathe and rarely coma But that's good enough for me. (chorus) Post of each new flag and tower; Thread length growing by the hour4; Reach 216 --I'll say, "Good enough for me!" (chorus) Ev'ry Frame new ONGs are ventured. Let your feelings be not injured When you're sneaky-edit-ninjer'd5, And that's good enough for me. (chorus) We develop our own jargon; Ask, "Where's Helper's avatar6 gone?" Yes, we really are that far gone, But it's good enough for me. (chorus) Fades and false loops start us whirling, But the story keeps unfurling, As new Waiters start BlitzGirling7, And it's good enough for me! (chorus) So much new terrain is plotted, With a far bank barely spotted, When Time's servers8 get slashdotted! But they're good enough for me. (chorus) Of Time's songs we've an armada. Write 'em fresh; filk when we gotta. Say, what rhymes with "Boom de yada"?9 Well, that's good enough for me. (chorus) Waiting for the final chapter We debate which end is apter: Rising tide or rav'ning 'raptor? IT's not good enough for me.10 (chorus; repeat to fadeout)
Posted on 2013-05-07 02:23.
On the Thread
"Homeward Bound" - Simon and Garfunkel
I'm sittin' in an online forum My noobish questions sure to bore 'em, mm-mm On a tour of Linux land I post my questions, cap in hand So some jerkweed who should be banned Can flame when I don't understand On the Thread I wish I was On the Thread Time ─ With its Luckies springing Time ─ With its starfields swinging Time ─ With no fanboys flinging L337 insults toward me Ev'ry day's an endless stream Of RSS news fever-dream, mm-mm And each dull story that I see Inflating some dull wannabe To cookie-cut celebrity I need originality On the Thread I wish I was On the Thread Time ─ with its posts unflaming Time ─ with its wowish naming Time ─ with its popes proclaiming Never will bore me Tonight I'll read Skin Horse again I'll check QC and try to grin, mm-mm But all the colors fade for me To shades of grayscale apathy I need some stick simplicity I need to ONG the OTT ONG the Thread Oh I wish I could ONG the Thread Time ─ with its beanish cities Time ─ with its OTTer ditties Time ─ with redundakitties Silently staring... Silently staring...
Posted on 2013-08-08 05:12.
Some Time to Ketchup
"Somebody To Love" - Queen
Each day when I get up I read a little Before I even shower or eat Take a look at the forum and cry Randall what you're doing to me I've spent all these years on xkcd But it was just three days in a week; Now─ Some time to─ (Some time to─) Yeah, some time to─ (Some time to─) Can anybody find me some time to ketchup? I read hard (He reads hard) every day I'm at work Whenever my boss leaves the room At the end of the day I rush home To Firefox and a feeling of doom I sit down at my screen and I start to click But the Newpages all come too soon Please─ Some time to─ (Some time to─) Oh, some time to─ (Please─) Can anybody find me some time to ketchup? (He reads hard) I blitz hard, (every day) every day I skim and I scan and I scroll But everybody's gotta have their say Why can't they just get lazy? They've gotta comment every frame I've got no chance I'm outnumbered And I can't quit reading (Next> Next> Next> Next>...) Got no ONGs, no time to coma I just keep losing more ground At the change of a pixel I cry "Is there a molpy to be found?" No, I'll never break free of the One True Thread 'Til the End of Time comes around No──────── (Find me some time to ketchup) (Find me some time to ketchup) (Find me some time to ketchup) ...[long repetitious buildup to big finish]... Can anybody find me──── Some time to KEHHHH──── Tchuh-uh-uh-uh-uh-up? (Find me─) (Some time to ketchup) (Find me─) (Some time to ketchup) ...[repeat and fade]
Posted on 2013-06-06 01:22.
Stick-Thwap the Sandy Claws
"Kidnap the Sandy Claws"-Danny Elfman (from The Nightmare Before Christmas)
Megan: Stick-thwap Mr. Sandy Claws? Cueball: You be the victim! Megan: Let's draw straws! Megan: Randall said we work together Cueball: Two of a kind Megan: Birds of a feather Both: Time is forever! Wheeee La la-la la-la-la La-la la-la la La la-la la-la-la La-la la-la la Stick-thwap the Sandy Claws, Hiding over there Wait until he pounces then Give him such a scare Megan: First, we're going to set some bait Inside your shoulder bag and wait When he comes a-sniffing he will Grab your bag and masticate! Cueball: Wait! I've got a better scheme To keep my danger less extreme Let's trap him in this bucket here And pull his tail and hear him scream! Both: Stick-thwap the Sandy Claws Dodge him when he springs Grab our secret ninja-stick Drive him to the wings Cueball: I say use a giraffmolpy Bring it in from just offscreen Wave the bait and when he charges Stomp him into smithereens! Megan: You're so stupid, keep the mustard In the jars and on the shelves Let a giraffmolpy join and Both: We can't beat him up ourselves! Stick-thwap the Sandy Claws Try to make him hiss Take too long to hit him and Cueball gets a kiss Cueball: Because Megan-raptor swings the meanest ninja-stick around If I got on her raptor-list, I'd get out of town Megan: I wish my cohort weren't so dumb Cueball: I'm not the dumb one Megan: You're no fun Both: Stick-thwap the Sandy Claws Cueball: Smash him into bits, girl Megan: Save my partner's life and we Both: Disappoint the BlitzGirl! Both: Stick-thwap the Sandy Claws Chase him off your bag Knock him on the castle and Stab him with our flag!
Posted on 2013-06-21 14:07.
The Loco-Molpy
"The Loco-Motion" - Little Eva
Everybody is doin' a brand new trick, now (Come on Waiter, do the Loco-molpy) You do it when you spot a movement in a newpic, now (Come on Waiter, do the Loco-molpy) There's little baby squirpies and beesnakes to see They're hidin' in the grass so hunt 'em 1-2-3 So come on, come on, do the Loco-molpy with me You got to lay'r those PNGs, now Come on, Waiter Zoom in, crop down, Well, now, you made it dance around Now that you can do it, let's make a GIF, now (Come on Waiter, do the Loco-molpy) A-red a-green a-changin' if you take the diff, now (Come on Waiter, do the Loco-molpy) Do it in the GIMP or in Photoshop Once you're molpy-huntin' you won't wanna stop So come on, come on, do the Loco-molpy with me [Instrumental break] Move around the screen with a Loco-molpy (Come on Waiter, do the Loco-molpy) You want to keep it movin' so don't hit Control-P* (Come on Waiter, do the Loco-molpy) There's never been a game that's so easy to play There's molpies crawlin', flyin', climbin' night and day So come on, come on, play the Loco-molpy with me
Posted on 2013-06-16 06:06.
Wonderful Walk
"Wonderful World" - Sam Cooke
Don't know nothin' 'bout hydrology. Don't know much geology. Do okay at arkitekcher1 though, But don't know why I always build so slow. But I do know how to build with sand, And with you with me to lend a hand, What a wonderful day by the sea. Don't know much about the hills and all. Don't know where the rain's s'posed to fall. Don't know much about the risin' sea. Don't know who that little girl could be. But I do know how to walk all day, And with you with me to lead the way, What a wonderful walk this would be. Now I don't claim to be an ex-plorer, But I'm tryin' to be. And I think that maybe A walk with you, baby, Might a-splain this world to me. Don't know why the dirt was turning gray.2 Don't know how to aim a trebuchet.3 Don't know why the water tastes so foul.5 Don't know if I thought to pack a towel.8 But the sea is big; the river's small. And with you with me too see it all, What a wonderful walk this would be.
Posted on 2013-05-02 03:07.
Strummity hummity─ StratPlayer awesomeness Bursts from each parody, Pastiche, and verse; Such fine examples of Ninjaspeedblitzfilking ─Wish we could rent Albert Hall and rehearse.
Posted on 2013-05-18 08:11.
Momity, molpity, BlitzGirl the versatile Dazzles with lyrics, phi- Losophy, arts, Commonsense peacemaking, Humor, and even some Centicuemeasuring Molpy-height' charts.
Posted on 2013-05-18 08:11.
Jupiter Shmupiter good ol' HAL nine-thousand Vatican Millin'ry Perfectly Wears. Monomaniacally hunts for rule-breaking at- tributed to when a mere human errs.
Posted on 2013-05-19 00:58.
Manicky panicky m-s-c-h-a's* a Little bit overwrought; Let us be kind. Double-dactylicly Caught by the meter, he's Cerebrospinally Losing his mind.
Posted on 2013-05-19 01:40.
Snippety snippety Could we have spotted the Submacrotrebuchet BlitzGirl had saved? Diff'rence in emphasis Means I've not hit on the Hexasyllabiloid mscha had craved.
Posted on 2013-05-19 23:10.
Fractyly-cractyly, jjjdavidson Polysyllabifies OTT-text, Hexadidactylly Omniengendering TemporothreadWaiters Hexaperplexed.
Posted on 2013-05-23 02:30.
The naming of filks is a difficult matter, It isn't just one of your OTT games; You may think at first I'm a mad buffyhatter When I tell you, our filk must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES. First of all, there's the name that the filker use daily, Such as Parody, Travesty, Pastiche, or Farce, Such as Satire or Mockery, Burlesque or Take-off── All of them names that Outsiders can parse. But I tell you, our filk needs a name that's particular, A name that's peculiar, and more ottified, Else how can we maintain our mystique auricular, Intrigue the unwary, and pull them Inside? Of names of this kind, I can give you a cupcake, Such as Timeody, Otting, or Satbosatott, Such as Ottification, or else Ode to Beesnake── Names that non-Waiters Outside would find misbegot. But for OTT filk there's still one name left over, A Blitzpleasing name no Outsider will guess; The name that no Outside research can discover── But THE OTT KNOWS, and will never confess. When you see a Time-Waiter in deep contemplation Of Molpies, and Megballs, and fluids not milk: His mind is engaged in the rapid creation Of an ott-, of an ott-, of an ottified filk: An unnameable, nameable, Nameabunameable, Deeply earwormable mustardly Filk.
Posted on 2013-06-18 23:53.
Timeody, Schmimeody, BlitzGirl still thinks there's an Octet of syllables In that first line. We can forgive her be- Cause we remember her Ottificational Skills are so fine.
Posted on 2013-06-21 14:25.
Journey I
And so we built our castle by the sea. But soon the waters from their ancient bed Rose salty 'til our pleasant day turned sad, And so we left our beach. With bags and bottles, curious and free, We left behind our land so bright and dry In search of rain or river. What could add To our sea's placid reach, Our dying castle nigh? Past bird and vine and bee, o'er stream and scree, For days we journeyed, by our questions led To unimagined vistas, hearts made glad By all our world could teach, By all our eyes could spy. Though trash we found, no people did we see. By day small creatures scurried through the lea. By night the stars o'erspanned the crystal sky Or fell in streaks above our shelt'ring tree. Men's sign grew stronger ─ vines, a fence, a shed ─ But still no men. A black beast, hunger-mad, Attacked us, to be driven off unfed, A flag our bandage, folded to a pad. A distant tower gave us hope we'd reach Someone to help ─ Look! ─ Do they hear our cry?
Posted on 2013-08-22 05:45.
