Postings: 385
?
Black pixels of TIme we drink them at dusk We drink them at noon and at daybreak we drink them at night We drink and we drink We are digging a thread on the Internet and there's room for us all Randall lives at the site he plays with the molpies he draws He draws when it darkens to Africa your golden hair LaPetite...
Posted on 2013-06-18 21:54.
To the tune of "Blood on the Saddle" by Tex Ritter, as sung by the big doofus bear in the original D
There was blood on the castle, blood all around And a great big puddle of blood on the ground Poor Megan lay in it, all covered with gore And she never will jump over sand dunes no more Oh pity poor Megan, all bloody and red The kitty cat clawed her while she bashed in its head There was blood on the castle, blood all around And a great big puddle of blood on the ground
Posted on 2013-06-22 05:52.
As Time Goes By
"As Time Goes By"
(ATGB) With this you must agree: A sea is still a sea A sky is still a sky The fundamental things apply As Time goes by And when stick figures meet They'll still say "yeah" and "neat" On that you can rely No matter if the world has tilted As Time goes by (rap) So this girl and him, they hang out on beaches They swim, don't got leeches 'cause it's salty But they think it might be faulty, 'cause the sea Keeps risin' up the horizon like Mr. Mojo They got no HoJo so they don't eat a lot Got no pot roast or toast or PopTarts They stick figures like Calista Flockhart Ain't got a thing, can't wear no bling, or carry a nine But that's fine, they not grand they live on the land with no hassles Just makin' a s***load o' sand castles by hand They like castles so much they put castles on their castles (They like castles so much they put castles on their castles) (They like castles so much they put castles on their castles) Like pages in the middle ages, working for low wages They play with a treb-you-shay like pumpkin chuckin' But the sea, it's a mystery, he say: "F***in' anything, how does it work?" He don't know, got a quirk, got a head like an Oreo, white in the middle You know, right? Can't solve the riddle, so off they go To find some new scenes, search high and low With bags shaped like lima beans and water bottle dildos And this girl comes near, she pause, they don't see 'er 'cause They're in a hurry, was that beret raspberry? She fine But makes me worry it's wrong, crossed a line She's too young to be in this song (ATGB) Molpies and rivers are never out of date Stars or a meowlpy might tell their fate Cuegan need answers and for them they must wait That, no one can deny It's still the same old drama A quest that led to trauma A structure way up high The world will always bring new questions As Time goes by (rap) So they walkin' and talkin' now it's the third dimension Knowledge extension, stalkin' around gawkin' for rivers They're logical positivers, gotta investigate, not debate Sends shivers through their livers not to know But they walk slow, got no ride, no El Camino Walkin' side by side to a big-a** river flow Like the Amazon without the dot com They can't swim, no way to float, can't cross Got no motorboat for that moat, so their loss, got to hike She jumps dunes of sand on the run thinks it's fun, like Grand Theft Auto, but oh no, like Jill she falls down the hill She's okay, they chill, they walk all around Birds with wings in the air, things there on the ground Molpies, and plants and trees and some junk And big baobabs! They all trunk, like yo' mama (Big baobabs! They all trunk, like yo' mama) (Big baobabs! They all trunk, like yo' mama) Mountains like Fujiyama in the panorama There to climb, past the grape vine line, the sun behind But findin' no homies anywhere, the hood's bare Just a snake and a squirpy, took the cake, no one to see Like after World War Z, it's de - populated Out of town, out-dated, neglected, they're absentee Even the house got no one to MC But they see the mountain top, something erected Peeps expected, gotta get there quick After a wild kitty cut the girl's stick leg Not pretty, gotta beg for a hand, or a band-aid Seems like neither of 'em ever gonna get laid (ATGB) Ketchups and blitzes are never out of date Reading the True Thread will always be great Waiter needs ONG and for it she must wait That, no one can deny It's still the same old story A farce or allegory A place to wonder why The world will always bring new questions As Time goes by
Posted on 2013-07-04 20:10.
Celestial Sphere (Starry Starry Night)
"Vincent (Starry Starry Night)" - Don McLean
Starry, starry night Tumbling in a crystal sky Ghostly river drifting by As constellations wheel into the west Watching Megan rest Wondering where their path will lead Fretting on tomorrow's need To find a friend beyond this empty land Now I understand Why you turn from every star The mystery's not the sea, it's who you are So tell me why you walked so far You cannot see me, my Time's in your past I wonder, did it last? Starry, starry night Black of night on mountains green Predators a-prowl unseen And only sticks and stones to keep you whole Asking in your soul How far will you need to go To learn what you already know To touch the future, simply touch her hand Now I understand Why you turn from every star The mystery's not the sky, it's who you are So tell me why you walked so far You cannot see me, my Time's in your past I wonder, did it last? For I've waited for you Thinking your quest was true Then while the sun was out of sight on that starry starry night We saw the truth, as Waiters sometimes do But I could have told you, Randall Our Time was never meant for us to wait until it's through Starry, starry night Watch the restless planets set Trailing veils of faint regret For castles left behind upon the beach Reasons out of reach Farther than the stars above All that we can grasp is love To light the night behind us as we go Now I think I know Why you turn from every star The mystery's not the world, it's who you are So tell me why you walked so far And you can see me, though I don't know how Perhaps there's only... now?
Posted on 2013-06-29 23:09.
Go Down, Megan
"Go Down, Moses" - trad.
Go down, Megan, way down the bottomland Save your people before the water flow The scientist said stay with me, it is much too late Don't go down to your family, lest you share their fate And Cueball said "Go down, Megan, with me back to our land Save our people before the water flow" So Megan went down to their land, valleys far below She made the people understand "Water's gonna flow." Yes Cueball said "Go down, Megan, with me back to our land Save our people before the water flow" The scientists all had to wait, in their castle high And never did they learn their fate, or understand why. 'Cause Cueball said "Go down, Megan, with me back to our land Save our people before the water flow" "Save our people before the water flow"
Posted on 2013-07-19 22:10.
I've Got A Theory
"I've Got A Theory" - from Once More With Feeling (Buffy musical)
[BlitzGirl] I've got a theory They're in the past far They used a time machine and now they're prehistoric [Qalyar] I've got a theory It's Madagascar Which changed direction from collisions meteoric [Group] I've got a theory we should work this out I'm getting weary; what's this dreary waiting all about [Kieryn] I've got a theory Randall's just messing... [everyone glares] Which is ridiculous 'cause Randall plans out everything Can do no wrong, knows five-act structure, heresy bad And I'll be over here [StratPlayer] I've got a theory Megan is snoozing And dreams whatever her subconscious thinks is groovy [mscha] I've got a theory Some tots out cruising Got shipwrecked just like in that eighties Brooke Shields movie [Group] I've got a theory we should get it right Because it's clearly up to us to see the light [Fluffy] I've got a theory It could be molpies [Ebonite] I've got a - [Fluffy] Molpies aren't just cute like everybody supposes They got them grabby tails and clingy little toes-es And what's with all the chirping They're just calling in bigger dinosaurs Molpies, molpies it must be molpies [Group] I've got a theory, we should work this fast Because it clearly could get serious before it's passed [Buffygirl] I've got a theory It doesn't matter What can't we face if we wait for it When it takes place we'll all adore it The end of Time We've all been there Mountains to climb We'll wait and stare [Group] What's in this thread that we can't handle We have no dread of acts of Randall We'll post our bits We'll all be nice We'll ketchup blitz [Vytron] Hey, I've blitzed twice [Group] What can't we face if we're together (We'll wait for it) What's in this place that we can't weather (We'll wait for it) There's nothing we can't face [Fluffy] Except for molpies...
Posted on 2013-06-11 01:47.
Madagascarville
"Margaritaville" - Jimmy Buffett
Buildin' sand castles Free of all hassles Nobody else here to use all these poles Our castles might not last As time seems to fly past We doze and we swim without any goals Tastin' the bay again in Madagascarville Spitting out that last mouthful of salt Some people claim that this slow comic is lame But I know it's nobody's fault Now we inquire Why the sea's higher Found a neat river, some trees and some vines There's plenty of wildlife But it's such a mild life Nobody's here and we can't read the signs Traipsin' all day again in Madagascarville Just because there's no reason to halt Some people claim this empty land is a shame But I know it's nobody's fault Must be a reason I've been here all season Sometimes it seems there's no more to be said But each time I ketchup My mind seems to fetch up Another new theory to post in the thread Pastin' my say again in Madagascarville Adding to the One True Thread's gestalt Some people claim it's all a nerd-sniping game But I know it's my own damn fault.
Posted on 2013-05-27 18:29.
Seventy-Six Song Filks
"Seventy-Six Trombones" - from The Music Man
Seventy-six song filks in the One True Thread With a hundred and ten manips close at hand They were followed by tons and tons Of the cheesiest of puns And the double-est dactyls in the land Seventy-six song filks in the One True Thread With a hundred and ten haiku right behind There were more than two thousand ONGs With predictions that were wrong There were charts of every shape and kind There were animated gifs and outside heresies Molpy hunts, serials, hats of every style Back-in-Time sigcouragement and popes' decrees Each decree making the Waiters smile There were interactive maps and shrewd inquisitors Punishing apostates in the Comfy Chair Blitzers reading every bit Of spoilers that read "Wait for it" And off-topic topics everywhere! Seventy-six song filks in the One True Thread With a hundred and ten neat cakes on display For as long as the Waiters wait They'll be driven to create And they're waiting for it still today
Posted on 2013-06-12 20:06.
Small-Big-Neat
"Do-Re-Mi" - from The Sound of Music
Let's start at the very beginning A very good place to start When you read you begin with A-B-C When you wait you begin with do-re-me... (Do-re-me) The first three words just happen to be Do-re-me (Do-re-me) Do-re-me-fa-so-la-ti... Let's see if I can make it easy Do - What Homer Simpson says Re - A white sky pixel's glow Me - Megan, our heroine Fa - The distance they will go So - "It causally connects" La - Petite we barely know Ti - A letter before Rex And that brings us back to Do (oh-oh-oh) --------------- Let's start at the very beginning A very good place to start When you shampoo you lather-rinse-repeat When you wait you begin with small-big-neat Small-big-neat (small-big-neat) The first three words you're going to meet Small-big-neat (small-big-neat) Small-big-neat-wow-old-tiny-weird... Let's see if I can make it easy Small - Is what our river is Big - The vastness of the sea Neat - A river branching wide Wow - A very lofty tree Old - A camp along the trail Tiny - The river at the fall Weird - A tree bent by the gale And that brings us back to small (-all-all-all) (repeat) Small-big-neat-wow-old-tiny-weird-small Old-small! (Now waiters, small-big-neat-wow-old and so on are only the tools we use to build a post. Once you have these words in your heads, you can post a million different posts by mixing them up. Like this:) Old-Small-Tiny-Wow-Neat-Small-Big (Can you do that?) (old-small-tiny-wow-neat-small big) Old-Small-Tiny-Weird-Small-Big-Small (old-small-tiny-weird-small-big-small) (Now, put it all together.) Old-Small-Tiny-Wow-Neat-Small-Big, Old-Small-Tiny-Weird-Small-Big-Small (Good!) (But it doesn't mean anything.) (So we put in footnotes. One footnote for every word. Like this.) Wood5 squirrel1 bug6 falls4 tree3 bird1 tree2 Camp5 chirp1 frog6 snake7 tent2 molpy2 Small Neat Neat Neat Old Old Big Wow Wow Tiny Weird (repeat four times simultaneously with:) Wood5 squirrel1 bug6 falls4 tree3 bird1 tree2 Camp5 chirp1 frog6 snake7 tent2 molpy2 Small - Is what our river is Big - The vastness of the sea Neat - A river branching wide Wow - A very lofty tree Old - A camp along the trail Tiny - The river at the fall Weird - A tree bent by the gale And that brings us back to small Small (old small) Big (tiny wow) Neat (neat small) Wow (big) Old (old small) Tiny (tiny wow) Weird... (tiny old wow neat big) Tiny Small... Tiny Small! Old Small!
Posted on 2013-06-19 02:30.
The Sandcastles High (Part 1)
"American Pie" - Don McLean
A long long Time ago I can still remember How those castles used to make me smile And I knew if they had their chance That they could meet that girl from France And maybe they'd go swimming for a while But crumbling dikes were looking dire With every frame the sea rose higher No time for more black flags So they both packed their back-bags And I do remember doubt and fright When I saw the castles fade from sight I knew something wasn't right The day the scene turned white So bye bye to the sandcastles high Gonna travel to unravel why the water's awry The sea is rising but the river is dry And it's time we go to figure out why Time we go to figure out way [up-tempo] Now, for so long they sat by the sea Chillin' in each other's company Seemed they had nothing to do But when Megan started piling sand And then Cueball turned and lent a hand We all saw how they were on to something new Soon a castle stood there by the bay "Later," Cueball said, and he walked away Megan still in the zone Kept working all alone When Cueball came back, they built some more The view pulled back to show next door All of this happened long before The day the scene turned white They'd be singing... (chorus) Next they planted flags, then went for a dip But an accidental salty sip Had Megan feeling some regret Cueball built more, like he had a plan And shaped an airy center span But then Megan showed up with a trebuchet When the dust cleared they built anew The biggest tower yet soon grew Sand piled wide and tall Where Megan took a fall Then Cueball added new decor: The castle in miniature They still had lots of Time before The day the scene turned white When they'd be singing... (chorus) Now the sea does what it wants to do But the rising tide was something new Megan didn't understand Said they can't heap sand higher than that So with poles and beams and planks and slats They raised up a lofty platform in the sand Megan used ropes to try to rise But gravity ruled otherwise Still they built way up there Fine castles in the air They said, we love our neat display But we think it's going to go away There was no way they could delay The day the scene turned white We were singing... (chorus) [slower tempo] Met La Petite during Megan's snooze And we thought she might bring happy news But she just smiled and turned away When the water made the tower tip The pair packed up to take their trip And Megan said "bye" on that fateful day And as the black turned into gray La Petite returned but she didn't stay The castles lonely standing The ocean still expanding And just as the last gray disappeared La Petite came back, with something weird It was the end of Time, we feared The day the scene turned white They were singing... Bye bye to our sandcastles high Gonna travel to unravel why the water's awry The sea is rising but our river is dry And it's time we go to figure out why Time we go to figure out way
Posted on 2013-05-21 18:57.
Wake Up Little Cuesie
"Wake Up Little Susie" - The Everly Brothers
Wake up little Cuesie, wake up Wake up little Cuesie, wake up The stars have gone away We're in a bright new day We have to reach the mountain top We can't afford delay Wake up little Cuesie, wake up little Cuesie Well, how are we gonna deal with Lucky How are we gonna not get stuck What if I come down with lockjaw That would really suck Wake up little Cuesie, wake up little Cuesie Well, we told each other that we still had some time Well Cuesie baby we better start to climb Wake up little Cuesie, wake up little Cuesie We gotta go on Wake up little Cuesie, wake up Wake up little Cuesie, wake up It shouldn't be surprisin' The sun's already risin' We need to find a pharmacy That sells erythromycin Wake up little Cuesie, wake up little Cuesie Well, my leg has got a wound from Lucky So don't just lay there like a schmuck What if you have to amputate it That would really suck Wake up little Cuesie Wake up little Cuesie Wake up little Cuesie...
Posted on 2013-07-02 16:20.
Theropod sauropod Cretaceous dinosaurs Made lovely melodies Just like birdsong But those who hung 'round to Listen to seven-part Velocirhapsodies Seldom lived long
Posted on 2013-05-18 21:50.
Creaturely featurely: Raptorbirds, raptormoles, Raptorfrogs, raptorflies Swarm o'er the land. Whence this astonishing Biodiversity? Seems InGen's research has Got out of hand.
Posted on 2013-05-19 22:25.
Higgledy piggledy Only five minutes 'til Time's newest ONG will drop Onto my screen That's not much time to write Tachypoetically A double dactyl, y'all. (PagePopes are mean!)
Posted on 2013-07-09 00:59.
Eschery Peschery It's not a poster-tree Bent horizontally. Just its bad luck Losing by tragedy Half of its canopy Thermoelectrically When lightning¹ struck. ¹or Dracomax's chainsaw
Posted on 2013-05-22 20:54.
buffygirl buffygirl everyone said buffygirl buffygirl cover my head buffygirl buffygirl i'm filled with dread buffygirl buffygirl don't be misled buffygirl buffygirl forging ahead buffygirl buffygirl help ME instead buffygirl buffygirl the old one is shed buffygirl buffygirl please make it red
Posted on 2013-05-22 22:23.
Off to coma now.
Goodnight moon. Goodnight songs. Goodnight mountain. Goodnight ONGs. Goodnight molpies. Goodnight rope. Goodnight MobTeeseboose. Goodnight Pope. Goodnight wound on our heroine's joint. Goodnight posts containing no point. Goodnight constellation of our quotes. Goodnight load our protagonist totes. Goodnight; snooze good everyone. Tomorrow offers lots more fon. Fun. Oops.
Posted on 2013-06-26 06:01.
The Alt-Text
The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe
Once upon a morning cheery, while I pondered, slightly bleary Over many a new webcomic full of dreary trendy wit, Suddenly with brief foreboding I beheld an image loading - 'T'was a PNG decoding on my panel bit by bit. Just a simple shadow-picture taking shape there bit by bit. I thought, 'What's the point of it?' For the frame presented merely two stick-figures drawn austerely, Seated rather cavalierly on some lonesome barren spit. Eagerly I sought for meaning in their placid careless leaning, Yet that earnest mental gleaning explicated not a whit; - ''Tis a caption missing,' said I, comprehending not a whit, 'Should explain wherefore they sit.' Not inclined to whine or curse it, I intended to disperse it But my mouse chanced to traverse it and up popped a tiny chit: An alt-text, I saw, not fearing to expect the purpose clearing By the letters there appearing like a scroll of holy writ. Rapt I read the words inscribed there, terrible as holy writ – And they spelt out: 'Wait for it.' Wait for it? I sat and pondered while my morbid fancies wandered Into strange phantasmagoric places few ever admit. What grim portent was it sending; was 'it' coming soon, or ending? Some catastrophe impending, all our mortal lives forfeit? Was the Judgment Day upon us, holding every soul forfeit? Quoth the alt-text: 'Wait for it.' Anon my mania deflated and it seemed my fears abated. (For no soul knows what is fated, and to fate we all submit.) Then my gaze suddenly lifted, for like desert sands that drifted, The comic page had shifted, though no refresh I'd transmit. Lo! The figures changed position, with no page refresh transmit. Quoth the alt-text: 'Wait for it.' As time passed, I gained conviction this must be some sort of fiction. Twice an hour, a new depiction on my browser screen alit. Thus they seemed designed for spelling out some tale that needed telling But my mind was still rebelling, for I saw no benefit As the couple played in sand; whatever was the benefit? Quoth the alt-text: 'Wait for it.' Castles, rivers, swimming, scaffold, rising sea: all left me baffled, As frames flowed in slow succession like a garment being knit. Though my kenning should be gaining with each frame, 'twere no explaining Every question still remaining: 'What's it mean, how does it fit? Where's it going, what's the point, who are these folks, how's it all fit?' Quoth the alt-text: 'Wait for it.' No surcease from my reflecting stopped the questions interjecting: 'Is the artist now expecting? Or is it his family's split? Is it all 'bout global warming? Is it cancer lesions swarming? I pray you, be more informing! All these mysteries remit. For my peace of mind and sanity, the mysteries remit.' Quoth the alt-text: 'Wait for it.' 'Your coyness is most unpleasing. I won't wait,' I shouted, wheezing - 'All these pictures are just teasing, no intention to commit. Black stick figure and sand castle, images so trite and facile They're not worth near this much hassle. Leave my monitor unlit. Take thy comic off my browser; leave my monitor unlit!' Quoth the alt-text: 'Wait for it.' And the alt-text, ne'er updating, still is waiting, still is waiting As each new frame looms, relating tick by tick the drawn-out skit. I can but, through days ensuing, ponder on my soul's undoing, The one hope for my renewing being that I somehow quit Whilst the alt-text whispers softly that I'm doomed never to quit. I can only... wait for it.
Posted on 2013-07-04 20:10.
The Alt-Text
Once upon a morning cheery, while I pondered, slightly bleary Over many a new webcomic full of dreary trendy wit, Suddenly with brief foreboding I beheld an image loading - 'T'was a small JPEG decoding on my panel bit by bit. Just a monochrome depiction taking shape there bit by bit. I thought, 'What's the point of it?' For the frame projected merely two figures arranged austerely, Seated rather cavalierly on some lonesome barren spit. Eagerly I sought for meaning in their placid restful leaning, Yet that earnest mental gleaning explicated not a whit; - ''Tis a caption missing,' said I, comprehending not a whit, 'Should explain wherefore they sit.' Not inclined to whine or curse it, I intended to disperse it But my mouse chanced to traverse it and up popped a tiny chit: An alt-text, I saw, not fearing to expect the purpose clearing By the letters there appearing like a scroll of holy writ. Rapt I read the words inscribed there, terrible as holy writ. And they spelt out: 'Wait for it.' Wait for it? I sat and pondered while my morbid fancies wandered Into strange phantasmagoric places few ever admit. What grim portent was it sending; was 'it' coming soon, or ending? Some catastrophe impending, all our mortal lives forfeit? Was the Judgment Day upon us, holding every soul forfeit? Quoth the alt-text: 'Wait for it.' Anon my mania deflated and it seemed my fears abated. (None of us knows what is fated, and to fate we all submit.) Then my gaze suddenly lifted, for like desert sands that drifted, The comic page had shifted, though no refresh I'd transmit. Lo! The figures changed position, with no page refresh transmit. Quoth the alt-text: 'Wait for it.' Castles, rivers, swimming, scaffold, rising sea: all left me baffled, As pix flowed in slow succession like a garment being knit. Though my kenning should be gaining with each frame, 'twere no explaining Every question still remaining: 'What's it mean, how does it fit? Where's it going, what's the point, who are these folks, how's it all fit?' Quoth the alt-text: 'Wait for it.' No surcease from my reflecting stopped the questions interjecting: 'Is the artist now expecting? Or is it his family's split? Is it all 'bout global warming? Is it cancer lesions swarming? I pray you, be more informing! All these mysteries remit. For my peace of mind and sanity, the mysteries remit.' Quoth the alt-text: 'Wait for it.' 'Your coyness is most unpleasing. I won't wait,' I shouted, wheezing - 'All these pictures are just teasing, no intention to commit. Black stick figure and sand castle, images so trite and facile They're not worth near this much hassle. Leave my monitor unlit. Take thy comic off my browser; leave my monitor unlit!' Quoth the alt-text: 'Wait for it.' And the alt-text, ne'er updating, still is waiting, still is waiting As each new frame looms, relating tick by tick the drawn-out skit. I can but, through days ensuing, ponder on my soul's undoing, The one hope for my renewing being that I somehow quit Whilst the alt-text whispers softly that I'm doomed never to quit. I can only... wait for it.
Posted on 2013-05-16 15:51.
